Aug 5, 2007

Spaghetti western

Inspired by some writing by Phish and Miss Smack I have decided to turn a lonely Sunday night at home into a trip down smut lane.

A friend of mine once proclaimed that if you apply enough heat any chick will bend. You see she was a very unique friend to have, a very attractive girl that was into girls.

For the time we were in contact she had been the perfect drinking partner. No tension, no threat of complications or risks of falling in love. She was a true free spirit and a joy to know and hang out with. We had met through work and had hit it off from day one.

I have heard that chicks that hang out with gay guys are fag hags. What ever the male equivalent for lesbian chicks is, that was me.

At the time we met, I was unhappily in a relationship that was in it's final death throws. I have always been determined to keep and make friends outside of any intimate relationship because I firmly believe that lovers will move on but friends you keep for life. Unfortunately this did not sit so well with GF3, she did not like Chickie at all. In hindsight she could probably sense that Chickie was actually bi rather than pure bred lezzo. I never got it nor asked, it wasn't important to the friendship.

As was always was going to happen GF3 got the red card and we parted company. I was free to muck up like you do at those times of sadness.

So it was that Chickie took me on one of her Melbourne tours on the look out for fresh flange for both of us! Now I have never been a fast mover, I have never had a random snog in the pub or taken a girl home on the first meeting. Sad but true. Chickie however was a master of the art - she could pull a chick faster than Raife Fiennes could get a hostie sacked.

After a good feed and a few drinks, it was time to get down to the business of finding a life partner for the next few hours. Chickie was in full flight but no matter how much heat she applied, none of the gals she was hitting seemed to be up for girl on girl action tonight. Sitting in a booth and checking the calibration of our gaydars over a cooling ale she surprised the hell out of me by throwing up something I had said many many months back.

I don't know how the original conversation had happened back then but I had made a quip that I suspected I was really a lesbian trapped in a man's body. You see I love to go down on the cha cha, or as Miss Smack says, dine at cafe Minge. It was this that Chickie now threw back in my face.

With a cheeky grin she peered over her pint and opined that as a lesbian trapped in a man's body I was probably the closest thing to sure thing for her tonight. Dim old me just thought it was a joke. I replied that while that may be the case, I was not sure that I was up for that level of peer review. After all while content that I knew my job while down on the sweetest of places, how could a guy rate against all that girl on girl action?

It was soon apparent that she was serious and we quickly retired to her apartment with a few take away long necks to keep us socially lubricated. Because we had known each other for the best part of twelve months, it instantly felt comfortable and natural. Out kisses were hard and deep as the clothes were flying off. I could feel myself straining against my jeans while she fumbled with my belt.

In a tangle of jeans and bra straps we tripped over in a heap, half on the bed and half on the floor giggling like idiots. I had momentarily seen Chickies tits once before when she flashed me at work and had sure admired their form from afar ever since. Up close they were magnificent, I could feel her nails alternately gouging into my head and pulling at my hair as I hungrily caressed and sucked at her breasts and nipples. With a shove on my shoulder to break the embrace she rolled back and flicked her hips to the ceiling, with a thumb under each side of her jeans, the lot came sliding to her ankles and off in one smooth action ending with her legs pointing to the roof.

I had to laugh out loud at how practised that little move was, she just grinned and said fucking eat me as she rolled onto her front and with legs slightly parted rolled her hips to reveal a flange just begging for loving. With one hand firmly on her arse cheek, and the other just gently pulling her open I ran my tongue the full length from her arse to the the hood of her clit. As I got there two fingers that we not mine appeared and spread her lips for me so I could taste her in full.

With her juices flowing I gently suggested she roll over so could really get down to business. With a pillow under her hips and her legs hooked over my shoulders I worked my tongue into the folds of her pussy, licking and sucking at her clit in time with her rolling hips. I reach up with my left hand and take a breast in hand, squeezing the nipple to bring on a sharp gasp of breath followed by the first shudder and deep moan. "Ohhhh Fuck, your going to make me cum...faaaark." I tweaked the nipple harder and sucked back on her clit with a gentle flicking of the tongue.

I slid a second finger into her now throbbing pussy and probed deeper with fingers and tongue working as a team.

I can't tell you how hard this was making me. My cock was throbbing but I didn't care, she was so close to coming and so wet that I wanted to feel her hips bucking against my face. Her movements were getting faster, her back arched and she squeezed her tits together, pulling at the nipples with one hand while the other was grinding my face into her.

Like an earthquake the shudder rocks through her body and her legs slam shut around my head. The world goes silent in that embrace and I wonder if my head is going to be ripped from my shoulders but fuck me it is worth the risk. After a moment I am released, Chickie is still playing with her nipples and sitting back on her elbows, head gently rocking from side to side with the after shocks. Her head rolls back to front and centre and we lock eyes across the smooth expanse of her tummy.

A smile that any guy would die to see spreads over her face and she says words equally sweet, "I hope you are ready to be blown like they do in pornos because you've earnt it baby..."


Miss Smack said...

*fans self*

Excuse me while I make a quick visit to my GVIBE!

Ta-DAH! We have a new SMUT TART on the blogging scene !!


Miss Smack said...

Is it wrong that I read this twice and it made my panties moist?

This also reminded me of a man who was a minge-muncher of decadant proportions.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane! xx

electro-kevin said...


Madam Z said...

Holy Smackeral! Do you give lessons? I know about a billion men who could use some...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

When you can impress a lesbo with your ability to yodle in the valley, you're doing something right. Keep doin' what you're doin'.

Kitty said...

Fuck I think I love you.

Hey I like vagina's, and I live in Melbourne. Are you busy tonight?

Mountjoy said...

You have to love the thigh clamp action, indeed!

(But the real poser here is, while you may be able to dine at the Y like a seasoned cunt owner, did your AC/DC friend suck cock like a porn star?)

Love your work. Keep it up.

Helen said...

I read this to my husband on his way home from work, and will be thanking you for weeks to cum. I mean weeks to come.

D said...

All I can say is Wow

Josh said...

What a response. Glad everyone enjoyed that as much as I did. reading your comments has livend up my work day considerably.

Looks like I have do some more writing...

Miss Smack, thanks for the random smack. Your 14 little words ending in "....made my panties moist?" seemed to achieve the same result as a full page of text for me..

Electro Kevin, At the time, that was my exact choice of word.

Madam Z, Not sure how to give lessons, just practice practice practice.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, every chance I get, every chance...

Kitty, Sorry babe, back in Sydney now but I love you too.

Mountjoy, It would be a bit crass to just say yes so you will have to come back some time to hear the rest of Chickies adventures....

Helen, Glad it bought inspiration to your husband.

D, Wow was what I was saying another few moments past that last paragraph..

phishez_rule said...

I uh... I just need to have a quick cold shower.

So you live in Sydney hey. I have this cobweb problem...

Josh said...

Phish, Bad girl. Remember, shower with a friend and save water.

Always happy to chase spiders out of the bedroom...

Kitty said...

Phish - wanna go halvies?

Giddy up.