Dec 2, 2007

Reader beware...

I have been outed folks so it is time for that post...That person has been very cool but this post is for others that may follow and to spell out my own thoughts on the subject.

Blogs are interesting things, if you are reading this then you probably already have that figured out or have been pointed here by someone who stopped reading before the end of this post.

Some bloggers are just out there, you know who they are, what they, their family, their boobs and even vayjayja or pee pee looks like. Others are a little more secretive and only show their boobs, vayjayja or pee pee.

We all talk crap to anyone who will listen and often we are writing for ourself and it does not matter if nobody reads it. It is an outlet for creative and emotional guff that like a bottle floating in the ocean, grows a little island of life around it.

There seems to be two groups of bloggers out there. Those who have offended a friend or family member with a post and those that are going to.

I have often wondered what the reaction would be to some of my posts. They are drawn from real life, the names are changed to protect the guilty and in the telling, the volume is turned up to 11 to set a scene or highlight the best or worst of the action. When I write a post, I turn off the mouth/brain filter. I let the raw thoughts cascade through me and then massage them into a hopefully coherent missive on x, y or z.

The downside to that is that when you are outed, people will attach meaning and pain or joy to the words. The challenge then is how will they deal with it and how do you deal with it?

I have made the decision that for me this is like a diary. I scribble down ideas, moments in time, thoughts and feelings. It is a diary that is left open in a public place and I don't care who reads it but there is one caveat that applies to any diary.

Read it at your own risk and in this case, read it as a work of fiction.

Attaching the real names and places to the stories is dangerous in the way it is dangerous to read a private diary or the private emails of a lover. You will find out stuff you did not need to know, stuff that in knowing will change things at a personal level. Some of it will be for good, some of it will be for the worse.

If you think you know me and choose to read these words with my name attached then you have to do it knowing you may not like what I say, who I do, or just how dark the my inner monkey can be.

As for why I would allow that to happen, well I blame that on you kind folk out there. Your blogs are too funny, inspiring and good to read that I can't help sharing the love with my friends.

Having dropped the name of Miss Smack, Capitan Smack, Kitty, Fingers and Steph to a few friends it was only a matter of time before someone found me in your comments and recognized me.

I am cool with that. If I was not, it would be an invitation only blog or written in a password secured document offline.

Will I change what I write? No. You the reader have the option to turn away, choose not to read. If you think you know who I am, then you have the option to not open the diary on the dresser.

If you do read it then you must respect that here is an anonymous and fictional tale written by someone while naked and uncaring. Enjoy the stories for what they are and take the ride in the same way you would a novel or a movie - draw all the parallels you want with people you know or things in your life but do not hold those people accountable for what happened in the tale as it was told.

If you think you know me do not go running to others with news of the open diary because they to will read it out of context. Keep it as a secret for yourself. I don't need to know that you think you know my dirty secrets or that you think that you have found me.

It is not my reason for doing this. Enjoy it or leave. I don't care, I am happy. Welcome or farewell....


em said...

I don't think I know you. :-)

Steph said...

People you know offline who read you will either love it or hate it. I've found theres no in between.

My family in general don't like what I write and tell me so. Except my sister who has a "mommy" blog of her own. My friends for the most part are great about it. They know anything they tell me may be used as blog fodder and are mostly ok with that.
I have had one or two get pissed off with what I've written but I couldn't give a rats and told them so.
Don't like it. Don't read it. It's quite simple really. ;)

Madam Z said...

The thoughts you have posted here really hit home with me. I am fairly new to the whole blogging thing and am finding my way slowly and with difficulty. In the beginning, I thought that everything I wrote would be anonymous, so I let the shit fly. It was great fun getting comments from people on the other side of the globe, whom I knew I would never meet...especially you Australians, because you seem so wonderfully free and non-judgemental. But because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut, I told people I whom I actually KNOW about my blogging, thinking that they couldn't find it if I didn't give them the actual address of said blog. WRONG! So now I've gotten all shy and retarded about the whole thing, and just write boring stuff that gets no comments.

But you, Josh, have given me a bit of courage. I love your remarks about "turn(ing) off the mouth/brain filter" and letting "the raw thoughts cascade through" you. Also the part about the diary and the caveat, "read it at your own risk."

So...starting tomorrow, that mean old filter is going on the trash heap!

Kitty said...

if anyone who knows me stumbes onto my blog (that doesn't already know about it) they will roll their eyes and mutter 'fuckin old ho bag...honestly.'

then they will bookmark it and read it every day cause it is SO FABULOUS.

unique_stephen said...

I don't write anonymously because I write for friends and family. I know mum read me every day and I'm not as brave as Steph, so I have to self sensor. The other thing that I keep in the back of my mind is that I write about the kids who don't have a say in what I write but will one day be their own people who may not want to be attached to an online story of their lives, particularly if the next post is a political rant or salacious. If I wanted to write something salacious I'd have to send it to one of you to post on my behalf....

Jin said...

I'll be sticking around to carry on reading your blog, as I really enjoy it. As for my own, apart from what jokes I put up, everything is true. Unfortunately, because of my location, I cannot write what I'd like to, because the powers that be who wear fanbelts & t-cloths would flick a switch & disconnect my ISP faster than you can drag on a shisha pipe!
I don't give a toss if I offend friends/family - it's my blog, my thoughts & scribes. There are times I would like to write more personal stuff, but I don't wanna toss away 31yrs of marriage, so I'll keep me lip buttoned :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh Josh, I hide my blog from everybody I know bar two real life friends who both live interstate and I don't have to see them in my day to day life. They also never comment on my blog, but very rarely they'll mention it to me in an email.

I used to have a blog that my family would read - cousins, aunties, parents, brother etc etc.
But oh dear, it got bad. A few things upset an old aunty and round it went till it blew up in my face.
I created a new name for myself and let me be as cheeky and rude and obnoxious as I want to..and I love it. Hope I never get found out....
family and friends can be so crusty in their judgements of who they THINK you are.

I hope you come on here and shine, as always.

Josh said...

But do you want to know me? Do I want to know me? I am so confused...

Yep, I shrug and move on. I suggest anyone with a problem do the same.

Madam Z
Hey don't blame me for your courage! I still read you but have been a little self absorbed to comment much with most blogs out there.

I love you confidence. I am forever rolling my eyes when I read your blog. You are so damn sexy my eyes just roll back in my head!

Unique Stephen
I know what you mean and are so right about the kids. That would make it very different for me too.

Thanks for reading still! I suppose I don't have a marriage to loose and I suppose if I was getting the matrimonial way, I could slip them the URL as a final check that they really know what they are getting involved with.

You are so right. It is probably our own fault in some way but we are very much subject to other peoples perceptions of who we are, what we should think and how we should act.

I tend to crash past all that and just try and have a laugh.

N said...

I regrettably self censor because I opened my big trap to some random friend when I had a particularly funny comment I wanted to share...
now I'm trapped - I have something awfully juicy going on in my life right now that would make excellent blog fodder but I can't be arsed starting a new blog!

phishez_rule said...

Aaah. This explains the email. Its a bugger when it happens. I won't be underground for too long. Just two weeks or so. I expect he'll find me when I resurface.

Ms Smack said...

I have shared my blog with some people and I wish I hadn't. I also had a person find it and tell me which was honest and for awhile I did alter stuff, like sexual posts were toned down. I also explained that it's as open as a diary to me so to be mindful if they're easily offended. They prefer to talk to me via real life and don't read it very often.

I've shared my blog with a couple of exes because often I'm recounting past stories. They love to read about themselves. My daughter knows I keep a blog but she is not allowed to view it, nor does she ask.

Be careful what you write about regarding work, and I think the rest can be sorted.


wee-h said...

josh help! Would you block a friend who obsessively reads your blog but never mentions that she reads it when you bring it up?