Dec 7, 2007

What floats your boat?

I am always amazed and intrigued by the world we live in and the people that fill it.

I am not going to go into too much detail as to how I found this, except to say it was the typical happy trail of blog to comment to blog to comment to oh my gawd!!!!

For those with a short attention span, the kinks (my typo...) are at the end of this post.

A while back I had some laughs about my testing of the disembodied Gina. Since then I have had some of the real thing and there is no comparison. Gina just does not rate when it comes to witty conversation and being a theatre buddy.

Well it seems that for some folks, a toy is not enough. They are after something a little more permanent in their lives but with none of the feeding or interaction issues you get with a living, breathing human. For these people there are life like, full size sex dolls out there.

I should not be surprised, hell what ever floats your boat right? Masturbation at it's highest level is how I think someone in the film describes it. Freaky verging on necrophilia would have been a much more succinct summary in my book.

The phrase "Only in America" came to mind right up until I heard that Australia is listed as one of the major shipping destinations for this product. Who would have thought that with all this sun, sand and sexy booty, that Australian men would need to resort to a doll? Oh well, the more nutters locked up with their inanimate friends, the more real girls for me and the boys...

Being a practical person some questions soon came to mind. The scary part was the order the questions popped into my head....The engineer in me was asking all sorts of "how" questions before the soft, human side of my brain got over the stroke like paralysis and started screaming for deeper answers about the "why".

So I have to ask, where the hell do you hide a body in your house? Murderers have been dealing with this problem by cutting them up, burying them etc. for years. Obviously if you buy one of these things that is not an option - unless that is your thing but you don't like blood.. but I digress. These things have got to be harder to hide from guests to your home than the dodgy gut busting, thigh master thingy you bought from danoz direct during that last bout of 3am channel surfing.

Maybe the answer is quite simple. If you need the doll, you don't need to hide it.

Then there is the dead root aspect. Now I have never had patience for a lady that is not getting into it during the funky stuff. I would sooner go shopping for souvenir tea towels than bang away with a non responsive chick. This would have to be worse. Sure they have erect nipples, but just because a lady is cold, does not mean you've turned her on.

Some may argue that the doll is there when and where you want it but stopping to manipulate a mannequin into a new position is not ever going to be the same as having a lover suggest something they would like. The silence would be a bummer too, after all what is sex with out giggles, screaming (stifled or window shattering) and the odd fanny fart?

Finally, after all the fucking, sucking, tweaking and fingering you can self initiate, what is sex without both the taste of a real partner and a kiss? Hollow is the word that comes to mind. Kissing is the difference between a wank and making love.

I am not even going to touch the cleaning aspect.

So, if you ever wondered who buys these things, head on over to google video and prepare to be gob smacked for about 45 minutes. If you want to keep your job, this is probably not advised as a work safe bit of viewing.

Alternately, just go to the Real Doll website and order one for Christmas. If you really want some entertaining reading, check out the letters section on their website.

11 comments:

Kitty said...

awe...i fink its a bit sad.

:o(

phishez_rule said...

I dunno. I'm about to blog about Mr Hygienically challenged who kissed like a cement mixer.

When you're with someone like that, not kissing is bliss.

Matter of fact, he makes masturbating preferable.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Aw, damn...I hate blogging from work...I can never see all the really interesting stuff.

And my Thighmaster fits quite nicely on the top shelf in my living room closet, thankyouverymuch!

;)

Jin said...

I'd love to be able to see what's on the videos, but guaranteed I'll get the blue page with red squiggles stating the page is FORBIDDEN! I'll try it anyway...........just out of curiosity.

Jin said...

Guess what:

We apologize the site you are attempting to visit has been blocked due to its content being inconsistent with the religious, cultural, political and moral values of the United Arab Emirates.

If you think this site should not be blocked, please visit the Feedback Form available on our website.

UBERMOUTH said...

They make them in male models too . Often artists buy them to work with. I think they would also be great for single ladies driving alone at night to pop one in the car.

Josh said...

Kitty
Agreed. The documentary is really sad too. It is a bit like watching a train wreck.

Phish
Well they make a male one too so it could be your dream man if you can't find one that owns a tooth brush.

Stacy
Well, it will be there when you get home from work, right along with your thighmaster!

Jin
Spoil sports eh? Imagine if you tried to bring one of the dolls into the UAE!

Ubermouth
Why do single ladies driving alone at night need one? In case they get really horny?

Steph said...

I have a close friend that uses a fleshlight and swears it's better than chatting up chicks in the hopes they'll throw him a bone.

I'll have to send him a link hahah.

N said...

It's the one constant expression on the face that would give me the heeby jeebies! good old F&%K faces should never be denied!

Josh said...

Steph
The poor bugger, he sounds a bit downtrodden. If he is waiting for a charity fuck then it sounds like this is he dream xmas pressie!

N
I know what you mean. Nothing beats that look just as and just after someone comes. Bliss.

The glazed eyes on the doll would make me feel like I was doing it all wrong.

UBERMOUTH said...

hahahaha. NO. They are less likely to be car jacked, followed, flagged down for sinister reasons if it appears a man is in the car with her.

Lol Look at my word:fucdq