Mar 26, 2009

Exclusivity in the modern dating game..

What does it mean after one date, a bit of a snog and a few saucy text messages to get hit with the question "so are we exclusive?"

It is a bitch of a question in my book because it is way to early to know the answer to that unless you are a 18 year old romantic that still believes in true love and in reality when it is ready to be exclusive, you should not have to as such a stupid question.

Being the cynical bastard I am, I took it as a trap. A test to see if I was playing her.

I replied that while I had nothing else on the go, I could understand if she needed a little time to sort stuff out.

I could see us going exclusive in the near future but one date was a little early for me to expect her to just drop everything as well as her nickers.

She liked this answer and I thought I had dodged the bullet. More fool me.

This girl is out there in the land of crystals and auras and connection with the universe.

My connection with the universe is limited to acknowledging that in the words of Carl Sagan, I am made of star stuff...on a chemical level I could just as well have been a part of the sun or a comet.

Ironically those chemicals get all mixed up in new and interesting ways and as luck would have it, between answering the exclusivity question truthfully and date two I was hit upon by two other girls that seem much more interested in lube and a lack of exclusivity .

Normally this would not be an issue, despite my levels of mischief while single, when committing to a relationship I am right there in the moment and such opportunities while flattering, are not acted upon.

They were let down gently and both made sure to remind me to call if the situation changed.

Date two was a challenge.

It involved the reading of auras, the channeling of energy, a guided meditation and me being the only bloke in a room full of slightly quirky new aged girls.

Did I mention that three of them were insanely hot Brazilians...oh, it must have slipped my mind while I was focused on channeling white light to my chakras.

So after ruefully watching the last bit of Brazilian skirt leave the party we retired to the beach to discuss exclusivity.

It seemed that it was not a trick question but one aimed squarely at ensuring she could go on a date with another bloke. It was her perfect reason to delay things progressing beyond snogging, just in case she likes this other bloke more.

Rain and a thunderstorm provided the perfect excuse to wrap things up at that point.

As I drove home with my head spinning a little I did the only thing that seemed fair. I texted the other two girls that I had brushed off earlier in the week and made a date with both of them, for the same night...

Mar 5, 2009

The way it always happens...

I have a mate who, along with his wife are Virgin Blue flight attendants. It is hilarious the antics they get up to and the fun they hare having.

Unfortunately I am in that age bracket that is probably too old for Virgin Blue and too young for Qantas.

Anyhow, having also worked for an airline in a different capacity in my deep dark past I had preconceived ideas about staff travel allowances. I had already lived through years of budging mates wanting to get cheap flights that I could not provide and all the shit associated with travelling standby.

The day I booked my first fully paid seat and turned up at the airport knowing I was actually leaving as planned, rather than waiting for some idiot to forget their passport or get stuck in traffic, was the second happiest day of my life. The happiest was when someone else paid for it and it was business class...

So while chatting with my mate about the similarity between Virgin Blue and Fresh!, he drops it that if I want to go anywhere to let him know so he can put me on his staff travel list.

The what the fuck you be talking about Willis????

I had just booked and paid for two trips to Melbourne and one to New Zealand and now the twat offers me staff travel on poon blue?

I was gutted for a moment or two until I realised what this means....Party time people. I have mates in Briz Vegas I am going to visit, chums in Melbourne that I will call on if it ever stops burning down there and maybe even a little bit of Island hopping to chase the wind.

Giddy up.