Mar 26, 2009

Exclusivity in the modern dating game..

What does it mean after one date, a bit of a snog and a few saucy text messages to get hit with the question "so are we exclusive?"

It is a bitch of a question in my book because it is way to early to know the answer to that unless you are a 18 year old romantic that still believes in true love and in reality when it is ready to be exclusive, you should not have to as such a stupid question.

Being the cynical bastard I am, I took it as a trap. A test to see if I was playing her.

I replied that while I had nothing else on the go, I could understand if she needed a little time to sort stuff out.

I could see us going exclusive in the near future but one date was a little early for me to expect her to just drop everything as well as her nickers.

She liked this answer and I thought I had dodged the bullet. More fool me.

This girl is out there in the land of crystals and auras and connection with the universe.

My connection with the universe is limited to acknowledging that in the words of Carl Sagan, I am made of star stuff...on a chemical level I could just as well have been a part of the sun or a comet.

Ironically those chemicals get all mixed up in new and interesting ways and as luck would have it, between answering the exclusivity question truthfully and date two I was hit upon by two other girls that seem much more interested in lube and a lack of exclusivity .

Normally this would not be an issue, despite my levels of mischief while single, when committing to a relationship I am right there in the moment and such opportunities while flattering, are not acted upon.

They were let down gently and both made sure to remind me to call if the situation changed.

Date two was a challenge.

It involved the reading of auras, the channeling of energy, a guided meditation and me being the only bloke in a room full of slightly quirky new aged girls.

Did I mention that three of them were insanely hot Brazilians...oh, it must have slipped my mind while I was focused on channeling white light to my chakras.

So after ruefully watching the last bit of Brazilian skirt leave the party we retired to the beach to discuss exclusivity.

It seemed that it was not a trick question but one aimed squarely at ensuring she could go on a date with another bloke. It was her perfect reason to delay things progressing beyond snogging, just in case she likes this other bloke more.

Rain and a thunderstorm provided the perfect excuse to wrap things up at that point.

As I drove home with my head spinning a little I did the only thing that seemed fair. I texted the other two girls that I had brushed off earlier in the week and made a date with both of them, for the same night...


Kitty said...

good for you! i cannot believe you would pass up a lube-fest three way with two chicks over 'exclusivity' with someone you haven't even fucked.

that, is madness!

wee-h said...

As Kitty said, exclusive before you have even had sex? Utterly pointless. Kissing does not a relationship make.

Although i think you shold consider yourself lucky, not many folk get that many invitations...

unique_stephen said...

I need to take lessons from you


Josh said...

Kitty despite my love of a lubed up three way, I do actually want to find that "someone"...But you are right, what was I thinking?

Wee-h Right place at the wrong time is all. Trust me, this does not happen every week :)

Unique Stephen Lessons from me? Dude, you have the house, 2.5 kids and people mover.

I have no responsibility, kite surfing and casual sex with Brazilians. Do you really think there is anything worth coveting in my life?

unique_stephen said...


Captain Smack said...

Oh, jesus. Well, at least the window of opportunity hadn't closed with the two girls. That sort of thing can leave a guy feeling rather bitter.

fingers said...

The last threesome I had was with a pregnant chick.
Does that count...

unique_stephen said...

@ Fingers
only if the fetus gives you head

Ms Smack said...

First or second, or third date is TOO SOON to demand exclusivity.

If however, she's being honest and saying that she's going on other dates, and is that ok, I think that's really COOL of her.

Transparency is the key.

Keep us posted will you? I do like reading about your love life.