Exclusivity in the modern dating game..

What does it mean after one date, a bit of a snog and a few saucy text messages to get hit with the question "so are we exclusive?"

It is a bitch of a question in my book because it is way to early to know the answer to that unless you are a 18 year old romantic that still believes in true love and in reality when it is ready to be exclusive, you should not have to as such a stupid question.

Being the cynical bastard I am, I took it as a trap. A test to see if I was playing her.

I replied that while I had nothing else on the go, I could understand if she needed a little time to sort stuff out.

I could see us going exclusive in the near future but one date was a little early for me to expect her to just drop everything as well as her nickers.

She liked this answer and I thought I had dodged the bullet. More fool me.

This girl is out there in the land of crystals and auras and connection with the universe.

My connection with the universe is limited to acknowledging that in the words of Carl Sagan, I am made of star stuff...on a chemical level I could just as well have been a part of the sun or a comet.

Ironically those chemicals get all mixed up in new and interesting ways and as luck would have it, between answering the exclusivity question truthfully and date two I was hit upon by two other girls that seem much more interested in lube and a lack of exclusivity .

Normally this would not be an issue, despite my levels of mischief while single, when committing to a relationship I am right there in the moment and such opportunities while flattering, are not acted upon.

They were let down gently and both made sure to remind me to call if the situation changed.

Date two was a challenge.

It involved the reading of auras, the channeling of energy, a guided meditation and me being the only bloke in a room full of slightly quirky new aged girls.

Did I mention that three of them were insanely hot Brazilians...oh, it must have slipped my mind while I was focused on channeling white light to my chakras.

So after ruefully watching the last bit of Brazilian skirt leave the party we retired to the beach to discuss exclusivity.

It seemed that it was not a trick question but one aimed squarely at ensuring she could go on a date with another bloke. It was her perfect reason to delay things progressing beyond snogging, just in case she likes this other bloke more.

Rain and a thunderstorm provided the perfect excuse to wrap things up at that point.

As I drove home with my head spinning a little I did the only thing that seemed fair. I texted the other two girls that I had brushed off earlier in the week and made a date with both of them, for the same night...

What pisses me off.

OK, time for a mini rant.

First of all if you really want to easily offend, upset or risk someone looking everywhere else to buy stuff rather than deal with you then do the following;

Today a rep turned up at my office to press the flesh, make sure we were happy with the service, show us some new products blah, blah, blah.

I realise that this is what they do but seriously, he had nothing new product wise to show, no nice pens or calendars for me and basically wasted a good fifteen minutes of my long, long day to say stuff all.

Just when I thought it could get no worse and just as he is finally leaving he kicks in with the kids question.

"So when are you going to get serious and have some kids? Surprised your parents are'nt onto you by now for that grandchild!" he grinned. "No sooner did I get the first one out, than my folks were asking for the second..."

I was stunned. How fucking presumptuous. Now maybe I was having a bad day, but to me and to a whole lot of other folks, these sort of comments can cut deep.

I also loved the way his shoulders went back and the chest puffed up that little bit when he said "No sooner did I get the first one out.." like he actually gave birth to it. Twat.

It takes a fair bit to rattle me, but I closed the door to my office after showing it to him with a forced smile and damn near punched the wall I was that pissed off.

Seriously, if someone does not have kids and has not raised the subject personally, show some tact and presume that they either have chosen not to or worst still, can't. Either way it is none of your fucking business!

There is enough shit at work without strangers reminding you of the top item on your to-do list that you have not been able to recruit the right staff for. My boys are swimming, the dude all works and I will have kids one day but until then, next subject.

Secondly, how do the police force expect respect when they carry on like this;

I have a short trip to work. When I am feeling excited or awake I even ride a bike. The section of road I have to travel is frequented by police eager to bust people for speeding and as such, at least in this area, I don't.

Now I don't think it is unreasonable that cops, unless on the way to save a life, obey the speed limit. Speeding to go find someone speeding is not in my opinion necessary, safe or how the game should be played.

In the past week though, I have seen highway patrol cars tailgating, doing illegal U turns and weaving in and out of traffic so they could get their shitty little radar gun onto some dude doing 5km/h over the limit. The irony being that the cops were doing a good 20km/h more than the guy they were busting.

I had one cop filling my mirrors as I sat in the left lane, cruise control pegged on 60. The right lane was clear but oh no, he crept up to my bumper then slid back before creeping up again and then backing off.

This went on for a good couple of kilometres before he pulled out around me, zoomed off at about 100km/h in the 60 zone and over the horizon on some urgent mission.

You know what he was in a hurry for? Yep, he was waiting just over the crest of a hill, checking my speed as I slid on by, still on cruise control and at the speed limit. Twat.

Now, that really wound me up. They wonder why people don't respect them when they do shit like that.

So that is it, other than the fact it is 2am, I have to get out of bed for work in about 4 hours and no amount of redtube.com is going get me to sleep, life is good.