Sep 3, 2007

Crazy world.

Here you go, a story to brighten your day...or not.

There is a lady I know, an attractive and interesting lady that I have been flirting with for some time. We laugh, we make jokes and we blush when we hold eye contact for just a little too long. We dance together like long lost lovers.

It is good fun but I have not taken it anywhere because I am a silly boy and I have been wary of breaking the spell. Flirting is fun and the anticipation of what may happen has been as much fun as the reality.

Recently we partnered up for a workshop on advanced dance moves and style. It was great fun. Afterwards we went to dinner, just the two of us. It was a little romantic and you could say, pretty well where this had been heading for some time, it was just a matter of one of us making a move.

While we were talking about stuff I got into asking the big questions that lead to where she was in her life at this time. She got married young, moved to Sydney with her husband, had two children, finished a uni degree, started a business and is very successful in all that she does.

So I asked the next obvious question, when did she split with her awkward silence followed.

"I haven't...." she said.

My head spun. I had not seen this coming. She was always out and about town with no sign of a husband and all the airs of a carefree and single life.

"Um, I have to ask, what on earth are you doing here having dinner at 11pm with me when you have 2 kids and a husband at home and everything to loose?". It was not my most tactful moment and the mouth/brain filter had totally burnt out from the shock.

She smiled and shrugged, "Good question, sorry I don't have an answer for you....I have never cheated on him, I never intended to..", she trailed off.

Over the next hour we talked it out, we laughed, we flirted some more. It was good fun if not a little awkward now that cards were on the table. We set the boundaries so that we both knew it would go no further but we could still play silly buggers on the dance floor and be friends. I sent her home to her family with her fidelity intact, physically at least.

But the question remains and burns bright in my head today, what is cheating, where is the line? As individuals in a relationship we need to have our own space and do our own things but at the same time if you are doing or thinking things that you would not want your partner to know about, have you then crossed the line? Is cheating only consummated when it turns physical and until then we are free to fantasize and flirt?

I have never been on this side of the line before, the potential to be other man. I actually don't like it very much. It feels dirty and cruel. Having been cuckold myself, I found I could not do it to this man, this unseen husband and father of her children.

I actually feel a little cheated myself because I was on the edge of opening myself up to someone only to find that there was a hell of a lot more than the normal baggage that we all carry.

C'est la vie. What a fucked up world it is some times eh?


Jenny! said...

At least she was open enough to lay it all on the table. Flirting is not cheating. I think that cheating is not only physical sometimes, but can be emotional as well. I don't really know, everybody has their own standards and practices...its too complicated. I would have asked her that same question though!

Kitty said...

gee josh, you don't mind e-fuckin me every chance you get baby! i'd call you a hypocrite if i cared enough.

Kitty said...

see you on msm later hot man x

Josh said...

Jenny!, it is a gray area. Interestingly despite walking up to the edge as she had, the hesitation, honesty and retreat just made her all the more attractive to me...go figure.

Kitty, be nice or I'll have to pull your claws out :) Talking smut as we do is very different in intent to what happened here.

After you come to Sydney and I have given you a pearl necklace, then you can call me a hypocrite or anything else you want

unique_stephen said...

It's only cheating if you don't invite your partner to make it a threesome.

fingers said...

I could never do it.
No way.
Dance workshops, I mean.
I hate dancing...


INteresting post Josh and why my theory about flirting is dangerously blurring the line. IF she had not been flirting, you would ot have got caught up in it and not been here now.I think flireting can lead to more than aone intended as with are a decent man though that you did not exploit it.
I think cheating is anything one has to hide form whom they are involved with.If you can't talk about it - it's going behind someone's back.Still, dancing cures all!

knifepainter said...


(Sound of fingers getting burnt)

Kitty said...

josh- excuse me love - i got confused by your bullshit about 'what is cheating? where's the line?'....relax, i'm just fuckin with ya. i don't cares that much baby. CALL ME.

unique- yes baby, i am agreeing. let me know when you want me to come over and 'share and care' with your missus (and you)x

Josh said...

Unique_Stephen, I'll have to check out the hubbie before I go down that road. He will have to be one cute MOFO for that to be an option though...

Fingers, thats what I said six years ago...

Ubermouth, I still don't know. I think it is natural to walk up and look over the edge which is what she did. I am not sure she would have jumped if I had pushed.

For me I think that is the test. Everyone deserves enough rope to hang themselves.

Kinfepainter, it sounds worse than it was. No damage done.

Kitty, I KNOW you are fuckin with me you hawt minx. Right back at ya ok!

Madam Z said...

I think everyone has his or her own definition of "cheating." My EX thought it was just fine and dandy for me to be with whomever I wanted, as long as HE got to bang the wife of my lover at the same time. He was always trying to set something up with some other couple. But the one time I struck out on my own, I was a "cheating whore."

Now that I'm older and wiser, I like the dictionary definition of "cheat": "to behave with dishonesty." It would be dishonest to be with someone else when you have sworn to be faithful to your spouse. It would be dishonest to say you were "out shopping," when you were out screwing. I have become a very "honest" woman, now that I'm with a man I love very much.

Captain Smack said...

On a purely practical note (putting aside the moral issues for a minute) - banging someone's wife is dangerous. People get shot over that kind of thing all the time.

Josh said...

Madam Z, remind me to be careful where I put my keys down if I ever visit you. I would hate to find I have accidentally checked into a party for four.

Captain Smack, I sure don't want to get myself shot. Be it from a gun or the husband in a threesome. Ewwww.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I think everyones definition of cheating is different....and sometimes quite the double standard too. Believe me, The PK flirts WAY WAY more than I ever have (he still does...even at his age)....but you just let me look a guy cross-eyed or say "hi" and The PK freaks out.

Josh said...

Stacy, double standards are no good but I've seen your photo. I don't blame PK for going kermit on you :)

Miss Smack said...

I know flirting is good for the ego but honestly, you seem to me to be a bright, attractive intelligent man with a great sense of humour.

Go and find someone who is available to you ALL THE TIME, (not just when hubby is not looking) and start your own passionate relationship.

Married people are dangerous, i agree with Capt Smack, and if she's screwing you behind his back (the father of her kids) then who else is having a go?

Josh said...

Miss Smack, Ego - check, Compliments about self from Miss Smack - accepted with grace, Looking for someone actually available and passionate - check.

I am seriously watching my butt on this one. Thanks for caring.