Thats not a Christmas bush!

I did think long and hard about the offer.

The longer I thought, the harder I got but despite the attraction to waterbed girl, she just was not the one.

At the first opportunity, I set it out for waterbed girl. It was not going to play out that way. LTL and I were making a commitment so that took me off the streets or more to the point out of her bed.

To say she was pissed off was an understatement. She really wanted a play thing and I was messing with her plans. In trying to convince me that it really was a good idea to have a fuck buddy right up to the day that LTL landed in Sydney, she detailed all of my character flaws and showed a few traits that indicated she would be really good at cooking rabbit.

I was not sold on the idea so we parted company making for all sorts of awkward moments socially where we were guaranteed to meet up.

Meanwhile plans with LTL were going swimmingly. In a bold move, she was to spend Christmas with my family as she has none here.

She already knew my parents well enough and by now they had figured out that something was going on so it was a no pressure situation in reality.

We were still skulking around in secret because she had a lot of stuff to sort out with the Douche and did not need the complications that revealing our relationship would bring.

Sadly this is where the wheels started to fall off. You see I hate Christmas. I hate the pressure to buy gifts for people you only see at that time of year. I dislike singing carols and the messed up relationship between a religious birthday celebration and marketing hype. I am not a Grinch but I think I might be related.

LTL loves Christmas.

The more kitsch the better when it comes to Christmas art or decorations. I think she would give Clark Griswold a run for his money if cut loose to drape a house in decorations and fire hazard lighting.

I on the other hand have not dressed a Christmas tree or even had one in my house for the best part of 15 years.

As a surprise to her, I bought a living tree, potted it, decorated it and even wrapped presents in fancy paper and placed them around the tree. It was more effort than I had ever done at this time of year.

On Christmas eve she arrived at my home. The moment she walked in the door I had a bad vibe.

She commented that the tree was the wrong species, it should be a spruce.

I quipped that I considered a pruning a gum tree into a cone shape but ran out of time.

An awkward silence followed.

To be continued...