Jun 11, 2008

Nasty Nanna

Why the fuck do people presume that because you are at a dance class that you have to dance with them?

Folks there is a serious downside to this dancing caper and it is the scary and nasty nannas you can cop in a class rotation.

I am sad to say that it is not all (but mostly) perky young fun out there.

I got told off tonight buy this old cow because I stepped out at the end of a class for a much needed drink of water and dare I say it, to rest my weary legs.

Now, I know it is not totally cool, and I seldom do it to people but this bitch is just wrong.

She can't dance, she won't follow and I just could not face four minutes of arm wrestling on the floor with someone lacking the flexibility to wipe their own arse without a brush on a stick.

When there was a break for announcements, I made my apologies and bolted for the bar.

As I was sitting there necking a schooner of water (you know the hard stuff) she strode over and gave me a dressing down asking me if it would hurt to just have one song with her? Am I too good for her?

I was fuming. I wanted to get right back in her face;

Actually nanna, I fucking am! If I am working at a venue then sure, I will dance with every person that asks because that is what you do but on my own dime I will dance with who I like to dance with, and politely accept that they too have the right to brush me off if they choose not to dance with me. Get with the program!

Instead I gave some lame excuse about sore knees (had to pick something the old fart could relate too) then had to stand around like a dick rubbing them for the next two songs before picking the youngest hottest dancer to go and rip up the floor to the Black Eyes Peas - Pump It.

I don't think she bought the excuse...

25 comments:

Fanny F said...

Right. That is the last time I ask you to dance, youngster. You hear me? The last time. And I'd just had a new perm and everything.

Kitty said...

you're mean

:o(

fingers said...

And to think I was worried about your manliness, Josh.
Boy, you sure tore that nasty old granny a new one.
You're a tiger.
Grrrrrrr...

unique_stephen said...

First there was the north shore granny killer
Now the granny heart breaker.

Did she have wiskers?

Bo Bo said...

Funny, I thought the serious downside to the dancing caper was the actual dancing.

What the hell is going on around here? You’re necking schooners of water and winning dance offs and Fingers is posting about Sex and the City.
You cunts trying to turn me to the drink.

Josh said...

Fanny hey I have nothing against the blue rinse set, as long as you get the cuffs to match the collar.

Kitty Yep but I still reserve the right to say no.

Fingers It is a mine field I tell you. Once they past that tipping point the concern is not so much about breaking their heart but stopping it.

Meow.

Unique_Stephen Yep, she made me feel totally pre-pubescent in my 3 day growth.

Bo Bo That is the plan. I for one want to see you start smashing stuff up again.

phishez_rule said...

Hmm. That was kind of rude. Both of you AND her. But her rudeness surpassed yours! Seriously, there is a dancing hierarchy. The more experienced dancers don't have to dance with the more inexperienced dancers. As an experienced dancer you have the right to walk away. Its by your good grace that you dance with her, if you chose to do so.

Jeez I sound arrogant don't I?

phishez_rule said...

I don't mind dancing with the beginners. But sometimes if I get stuck with one in class who is pretty hard on the arms or toes, some of the other advanced dancers will intervene and save me. There is a massive difference between inexperienced and just plain bad.

Josh said...

Phish I totally agree and I always dance with beginners.

I have danced with this woman before and hated it so it was not like I was not giving her a chance.

Anyhow, arrogance rules - embrace it I say.

Miss N said...

um... wanna dance?

Josh said...

Miss N Like you need to ask. Lets boogie!

Jen said...

Be nice,Josh. One day you'll be old and desperatly want someone to dance with you!

Josh said...

Jen Nah, age is no excuse for being rude.

If I make it to that age, the plan is to still be good enough that people are asking me to dance :)

Jen said...

If I make it to that age I'll be happy enough to shuffle, let alone dance!

unique_stephen said...

Josh will be posting picks of himself whizzing around in his zimmer frame any time now

Steph said...

You horrible, mean, fecker!

Lolz, why not just knock her over next time so she breaks a hip?

Haaaaaaahahahaha!!

sparsely kate said...

I know those sorts of people...they drop you in it and you have to scramble your way out with lots of pithy excuses..and then later you realise that you didn't owe them a thing! Grrrrrr.

Her ego was probably dented though. Women do mean shit when they're bruised :)

Kali said...

Fair enough... I think it doesn't happen so much the other way around with great girl dancers.

Life's too short to dance with the crap ones!

Josh said...

Jen Haha, If I can't shuffle I plan to manually check out.

Unique Stephen with your arthritis you will have the zimmer frame before me boy!

Steph Now that is the best idea yet. It fixes her for everyone.

Sparsely Kate I don't feel too bad, rumour has it she is a telemarketer or something - she is probably disturbed by having hundreds of people hang up on her every day and I was one NO too many.

Kali I am hearing you about life being too short.

I think the guys have it better than the girls - I have heard plenty more horror stories about creepy, smelly guys than the other way around.

Keshi said...

LOL mean boi! ;-)

Nanna-lover,
Keshi.

Madam Z said...

"Do you wanna dance, and make romance..."

Just be glad she only knew the first part of the song...

Ms Smack said...

I bet she was rubbing her nanny pancake boobs and old cha cha against you in the hope you got wood!

phishez_rule said...

Its been a month with no posts. You've got less stamina than fingers!

Amy said...

Wow. I've never actually seen an old woman at any of the salsa classes I've attended. There have been a lot of talentless, creepy guys though...

Josh said...

Keshi Hey, it is alright to love your Nanna, just don't loooove your Nanna ok?

Madam Z I wake up glad for that every day.

Ms Smack Youz a sick puppy!

Phish Time for some nasal delivery technology obviously...

Amy Welcome! Yeah, we seem to get them in equal mixes in the modern Jive/WCS world. I have to admit to becoming bit of a dance snob :0