Apr 29, 2008

Complications

As I crash onwards through this life my moral compass seems to have left me drifting in a sea of temptation and complications.

With a smile and a flick of the eyes she said there was a line. She was not sure where the line was but we would know when we got to it.

The story was the same as I have heard so often of late. He ignores me, I need more, I am as horny as all hell but he is always tired. The list of complaints went on. What is wrong with these men? Service your bloody women or cut them loose.

In my world, like anyone else's there are many links between people. Shagging the girlfriend of an acquaintance has consequences for all involved. I know this all to well having been on the wrong end of that stick before.

Yet here I am. The alarm bells the quietest they have ever been, washed out by the blood pumping in my ears at the thought of what is about to happen.

We talk about it. Probably for too long but long enough to know the deal.

My position is that I have nothing to offer afterwards. We will not and can never be partners, the drama it would generate in our community is mind blowing. If this happens, if we seek out that magical line then it is for now and to quench a thirst we share.

Her position is different. She thinks she wants more. To be out of her relationship and to start one with me.

I re-enforce my position and stand my ground. I want to be clear, open and honest. That will not happen.

We kiss and explore each other. It feels like it should and the world fades into the background. The consequences forgotten and lost between fresh hotel sheets.

There is no real guilt for me and that is the only thing that scares me. I used to be different and I don't know what has changed.

17 comments:

Keshi said...

naughty boi!

**Service your bloody women or cut them loose.

hmmm guess u work in a Service station then? ;-)

Keshi.

Josh said...

Keshi
No but I am thinking of opening one as there seems to be a number of people bored with self service.

Keshi said...

haha! Im sure ur good.

Keshi.

Em said...

Wow! This is interesting!

Josh said...

Keshi
Well thanks for the vote of confidence...

Em
It is a fine line between interesting and dangerous. I think I have crossed it which is going to be interesting :)

Bo Bo said...

I can’t believe you talked about it and for a long time at that, Shame, shame on you Josh.

But also well done.

Keshi said...

ur writing is hot so I believe u sleep hot too. :):)

Keshi.

bitchtasm said...

It's strange the paths life takes us on. People do change, for better or worse. Its a mechanism to protect ourselves. I have a suspicion I know where this behaviour stems from. And I know you have the same thoughts.

Having said that... Bad monkey!

Josh said...

Bo Bo
Yeah, if I have one failing it is that I talk too much and end up fucking too little.

Keshi
I also have a really good doona for those many cold nights when I only have myself to be hot with.

Bitchtasm
So where do these ideas come from and what exactly am I thinking? Glad some one knows.

Feel free to enlighten me..

Dagny said...

yes, bad monkey.

;)

Keshi said...

aha aha. lol!

Keshi.

fingers said...

I'm proud of you, Josh.
You're an absolute certainty for the 'Bundy Good Bloke of the Year' award...

UBERMOUTH said...

I always believe 'do unto others' .
Does she at least dance?

Jen said...

Guilt is a waste of time, Josh. You're better off without it.

Wee-H said...

ooh yum, a bad boy, there i was thinking everyone had become loved up and sensible.

Josh said...

Dagny
Go on, spank me...

Keshi
That was supposed to make you feel sorry for me not laugh at me :(

Fingers
Yes, because bachelor of the year would never be so corrupt.

Ubermouth
Only the horizontal folk dance as far as I can tell.

Jen
I have to agree.

Wee-h
Well helloooo there...nothing sensible about this boy. Thanks for visiting.

Kali said...

Dun dun DUUUUUUUN!

I'm waiting for the explosion of DRAMA that's going to hit anytime now as a result of this....

Good man for stating your intentions!