Nov 13, 2008

A word of advice to the jilted

Use me for sex.

Use me for entertainment.

Use me for the conversation.

Use me for the dance.

Hell, use me to cook you dinner or take you to a movie. I don't care.

I am all about the experience and if I don't want to do it I wont play along unless I really like you.

That said, don't waste your time trying to get back at an ex by parading me around as your new, better than the last dude, piece of fluff.

I don't care but it is waste of energy.

Girls, when you get dumped by a guy there is a little secret that you need to know.

He does not give a shit who you are fucking next. He dumped you.

He will be happy to see you fucking anyone because it means you are not fucking him.

If you make a scene of being seen in front of him and he turns to his mates in deep conversation do you want to know what he is saying?

"Poor sod, I give him three weeks before he realises......."

He will be happy you have moved on and will pity the guy that got you next.

He will not be jealous.

He will not be hurt.

He will be happy that it is me, not him standing in your arms.

As for me, I will be thinking "This is not cool, this is out of whack....think I need to put the brakes on this real soon..."

"Caio bella. It was fun for a few nights but I don't need this shit."

At least you know what I will be thinking when you do the show for me with my replacement :)


Em said...

wow... yea, who needs games like that? (Very cool picture though.)

Kitty said...

my flight arrives in an hour - be ready for a lot of usering



Fanny F said...

You are right ... most people never change (as much as they say they will) and continue to make the same relationship mistakes over and over.

Respect is the key and it doesn't sound like it's mutual here.

Josh said...

em Indeed. Two things recently prompted that post. I consider it a public service announcement.

Kitty Woohoo. See you soon.

FannyF Don't even get me started on the expectation that people will change. We are what we are.

Spot on about respect.

unique_stephen said...

Presumably she's on the game but what player wants to hang with the girl with velcro hands?

the projectivist said...

who does that?
people who have never progressed past that high school mentality,
that's who!

fingers said...

What a total bitch !!!
I can't believe she did all that to you and you let her just because she had a water-bed...

Josh said...

US Velcro gloves? Isn't that a Kiwi thing for playing with sheep?

the projectivist Ah, I see the error of my ways...These girls are too young! So simple.

Fingers I knew it was doomed when I was more interested in the bed than what was nekked on top of it.

wee-h said...

I think i should have been born a man. This i my opinion too! However, i was unlucky to be treated exactly the same by my last ex...grrrr

( . )( . ) said...

Do women really do that?

I hope she was a good root while it lasted.

Josh said...

Wee-h Nope, much prefer you as a girl. I don't think you need to be a guy to agree either, it is just silly.

(.)(.) Only silly woman do it. Now who said I stopped shagging her? I just said the relationship was over....

unique_stephen said...

You need a t-shirt

Madam Z said...

Josh, you are so kind to give us girls such helpful advice. Now, I have some advice for you guys:

Guys, when you get dumped by a girl there is a little secret that you need to know.

She does not give a shit who you are fucking next. She dumped you.
She will be happy to see you fucking anyone because it means you are not fucking her.

Ms Smack said...

Great advice, but I'm laughing at Madame Z HAHAHA